My Birth Story

Written by Lauren Arent (Lo Clark)

Owner of Bewitched Esthetics & Licensed Esthetician since 2013

June 4th, 2023

Disclosure: Bewitched Esthetics is supported by its audience. Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

Hello my darlings,

Betsie Rose Arent 🌹 Light of my life

Born the morning of February 6th, 2024

Many of my friends and clients know I was planning intensively for a beautiful home birth experience. During my pregnancy I became very passionate about the power of a natural birth in the comfort of my own home. To say I felt prepared and excited is an understatement.

It’s taken me a lot of time to process what happened and I finally feel ready to share my birth story….so here it goes.

I can proudly announce I had a beautiful introduction into labor, my water broke at 10pm on February 4th and the excitement was indescribable. Contractions started swiftly and I was 3 minutes apart by midnight. By the time the midwives arrived at 9am for a cervical exam and I was already dilated to 6cm!! I was so excited to be progressing so positively.

However, the midwives advised me there was still some positioning issues and I needed to do some exercises, excruciating exercises, to progress as they wanted. I did them all and stayed positive and strong. I followed all the rules, doing my best to stay hydrated and eat small amounts of protein.

By 2pm I was starting to feel tired but still passionate about progressing and no where near my threshold. After another cervical exam, the news was much the same. We inflated the birth pool and I climbed in to labor and find the space to rest for a bit.

By 8pm I was exhausted but still trying to work with my contractions. After a shower, I felt a second wind come on. So I was given a concoction called the Midwives Brew. I managed to keep it down for a half hour. Then we tried a homeopathic remedy. Then we tried Cramp Bark.

But my contractions stalled out. I finally admitted out loud I was exhausted. It was 10pm again and 24 hours of labor had pushed my body pretty far. So I made a plan to get some sleep.

I fell immediately into a deep sleep for roughly 20 minutes before the first contraction. Alexx was able to create counter pressure as we had been taught and I dozed off again.

The next contraction came swiftly though and was more powerful than anything I had experienced so far. The next came moments later and I was mentally unprepared for the onset. We quickly filled the tub and I crawled in to try and dull the intensity. Turns out all I needed was some sleep to get my body into gear.

As soon as my birth team has the birth pool refilled, I switched to there and began to really escalate. I told them I was ready to push her down if not out of my pelvic floor. We decided a cervical exam first would be wise.

It is after this that the midwives finally told me what they had been hoping would change all day. Betsie was in forward presentation. They gently broke the news that I needed to be transported to the hospital for an epidural.

It is here that I reached what I believed was my threshold. All my hopes went out the window. Everything I wanted was being taken from me. Fear took over and the contractions became absolutely intolerable. We packed up the car and headed for the hospital. Pure agony. I couldn’t push for Betsie’s safety even though my body was insisting I needed to.

When we arrived at the hospital, they prepared me for the epidural. Only to discover their anesthesiologist was called into emergency surgery. I had to labor another hour on the most intense pain and fear I have ever felt. I was given drugs I have never dreamed of taking in my entire life in hopes of curbing the pain, which ultimately failed.

The epidural was finally placed and RELIEF. I could finally think and talk like a person again. The doctor performed a cervical exam and left the room. When he returned he informed me I would need a C-section in order to deliver my baby safely. It was the only option.

It was here that I found another threshold I didn’t know existed. A C-section? We were continuing down the list of my nightmares. Not to mention that they tried to offer me comfort of statistics which has no effect because I had already been in the 5-8% of people with my water breaking before contractions and brow presentation at 1 out of 1400 births. I had never had surgery and was utterly terrified.

Alexx was my rock and so was my doula Kate @bluebirdbabycompany. They never left my side, following me all the way up to the OR. My doula waited for my mother to arrive, who I was able to speak to briefly before she boarded the plane as I was headed into surgery.

Surgery broke me again. I couldn’t do delayed cord clamping and I had no strength for immediate skin to skin, two among so many other choices that were completely taken away from me in this version of my story.

Due to excessive hemmoraging it took me extra time to leave the OR. I remember insisting no one give her formula until I could get to her. Thank God Alexx was with our daughter, but he was losing his mind, being told I would be right behind them.

When I finally left the operating room, I hit my final threshold. I felt empty – absolutely no desire to see my child. I was shaking so hard I couldn’t breathe and felt to unstable to hold her. The absolute failure I felt in that moment as her mother was the lowest I have ever felt in my entire life.

Then I heard her crying. Crying for me. I told the nurses to stabilize my arms and I used every bit of my memory to create the perfect latch with my baby girl. And everything changed. My daughter saved my life, the love and joy of HER is what made everything disappear.

I can honestly say my stay in the hospital was near bliss because I was so happy to be Betsie’s mommy. Obviously, still much processing – my new body with its new scars, some blood type issues with Betsie (all good), and returning home to a place that hold so much trauma.

I don’t know how I feel about home birth right now. I wanted more than anything to be an advocate, to show people it is a powerful choice. Part of me still believes this, the other part is held in chains by fear and trauma. In time I will work through things. At no part of my labor or surgery was Betsie EVER in distress. Her heartbeat held strong at every turn. As did my blood pressure and heart rate. There is so much to be thankful for in the end. Working hard to feel like the birth warrior I imagined myself to be.

For now, I will content myself with the incredible title of MOTHER.

Wishing you a life full of beauty and blessings!